June 23, 2010

I mentioned the ups and downs of Dharamsala. Today was an up day-a day so high that I'm not sure it will ever reach the low it has reached in the past. Work will always be frustrating-this we have come to terms with-but nothing else needs to be frustrating or stressful from thus forth.

Work was great today. I only had three of my women and we all started out in great moods that never went away. After doing multiple worksheets and a lesson of new vocabulary, we made bracelets and hung out. They asked me if I "had boyfriend" and thought it so intriguing that a woman could have a boyfriend and not be getting married. It's bizarre to communicate a reality to women who view it with such drastically different perceptions. One of the three women is married and she must be a few years younger than myself. I am tempted to ask about her marriage-after all, they've asked plenty of questions about my love life

Kajmuhari put a binti between my eyes and dressed me in Inder's wedding scarves. Brittany came in the room and Kaj did the same to her and we spent at least 10 solid minutes taking pictures and messing around with traditional Indian garb. On occasion Kaj would kiss Brittany and I on the cheek and giggle. I definitely think we've reached comfort zones that Indian women reach with one another and it is very cool. Very welcoming, considering we are only there for two hours a day.

After work and a quick lunch at home (daal as usual-with a birthday cake for Anita!), we headed to the Tibetan Library where we were able to sit with a monk and have a very special afternoon. Born in Tibet and belonging to the Dalai Lama's temple here in our region, his way with words was both powerful and childlike. He talked of Tibetan suffering, world suffering, and the reasons for the suffering of mankind. Referring to Buddha and the Bodhisattva way, he explained that there is enough natural disaster and harm in the world for us to have to worry about man-made harm.

He drew a parallel to a group of four men in jail about to be executed in 4 hours. "Do you think the men would be fighting in their last four hours on Earth or do you think they would be consoling one another? Coming together in kindness and support?" Then look at the human life. The short, 80 year averaged human life on this magnificent planet that has been here long before our time. In our single life's time, should we really waste our potential energy on hatred and suffering? Why do we not live harmoniously and with love for all beings? Our time is so short yet we forget to embrace each beautiful second with the honor it deserves.

The adorable old man, dressed in his traditional red suite, drew another parallel to material and sensual desires. There are two Indian friends-one is rich and one is poor. The rich man talks of his great plans to expand his home, upgrade his things, and then live contently once he has worked hard to do such. After years of hard work and suffering, the man has finally collected his things and tells his friend that he can now be happy. The poorer man says to his friend, "I've been living in contentment this whole time. I've been here waiting for you."

To be content with what you have-to be thankful for the present day, is the richest life to live. It is within your own mind and your own perception to change your state of contentment and happiness. You could die tomorrow, so why not love today?

I wish I would have taken notes this afternoon, but I guess my small storage center up top will have to suffice. I have drawn a grand conclusion that becomes helpful when asked about my religious beliefs. I would first like to note that I strongly despise any question regarding another's personal beliefs. Religion is personal and unless someone desires to learn about your beliefs and experiences, I find any questioning unnecessary. But I do know for a fact, after studying Native American Shamanism and Tibetan Buddhist Shamanism that I am indeed a Shaman. I am a Buddhist. It's a way of life-a way of loving yourself and loving the world-that I feel was created just for me. I've never, in my soon-to-be 21 years of life, felt like I belonged to a sect or a church or a sacred text. But every mantra, every prayer, every word from the Bodhisattva way is like magic to my soul. And to any open-minded, loving being, I can't say that they could be any other way.

After doing some necessary shopping in Mcleod, I met up with Mariam for a rooftop Americano before we met the crew for Anita's birthday dinner. The cafe is definitely my favorite one on Mcleod. We sat between a pair of monks and a group of Europeans smoking their long, thin cigarettes. Monkeys roamed around our balconies like squirrels.

I had a great few hours of shopping in the small Tibetan stores and making conversation with the very interested shop owners. But when I finally sat down for a much needed coffee, I opened the book my mother has been pestering me to read for years. Halfway through the book, I read Elizabeth Gilbert's explanation of her first successful, yet fearful meditation experience. It was like reading my own thoughts from the past and brought so much comfort, it was nearly overwhelming. I felt like my book was speaking to me. "It's okay! Don't be afraid! Keep meditating. Explore the unknown. What better place to do it than with the Tibetan monks in your backyard?"

After a morning of fun and an afternoon of spiritual revelations and inspirational words from a monk of utmost peace and love, we ate at our favorite restaurant in Mcleodganj. Mariam and I split MoMo's and a mushroom pizza that made my stomach giggle. Despite the enjoyable Indian cuisine, I will always have a hankering for a good pizza. Always. As we had just discussed our favorite reds the day before, Amy bought a bottle of Chianti for the two of us to share. All I will say is that it was glorious. And that, aside from craving the company of my PEOPLE back home, this one luxury has been my other soft spot. If I can't have the company of my loved ones, then of course I deserve chianti.

The great day ends in a Monsoon throughout the night and I am yet again unable to get the sleep I want. No matter how beautiful the day, the storms at night make me homesick-homesick for the familiar, for the safe, and the contentment that allows my body to rest. I must simply take to my own advice: Be content with the present-even if it is in a dark room with no power and mother nature screaming in your ear.

This is Apervi. And India would not be as comforting, fun, or entertaining without her.